On Coffee

On School

If I have not yet become depressed from the changing of seasons it is because I have not noticed the darkness of approaching winter. Never I have I spent so many hours living in front of the bright light of my computer screen. Yet, school has never more exciting. When I walk to class, I skip inside my head. I sit in class scratching down everything in an apparent attempt to drain the room of all signs of knowledge. I think I have become addicted to learning- I measure my days in epiphanies.

On the Future

Being away from home for seven months has been such a transformational experience. It was hard to identify while I was gone, but being back highlights every every subtile change. So much that occupied my mind before now seems so irrelevant. Working with Sam and the day laborers this summer, complimented by the connections with members of ENGAGE and my peers in Thailand has not just filled a hole, but has given me a rough direction. When the previous exiled thoughts of my post-college future come charging into my mind, my stomach knots up. But it's different from in the past. I'm excited about my ideas and the support system I have to implement them that grew out of this last year. I feel sudden bursts of euphoria when I think about them.

On Loved Ones

I've thought about returning to Thailand, as an intern, as a teacher, as a traveler visiting friends. I may do one of these things in the next few years. I can't help but feel pained though when I think about all the AMAZING individuals that have entered my life. Who I want so desperately to have around me, but are spread so far throughout the country and now, the world.

I've been reading up on Human Needs during the past few weeks; deep meaningful relationships, social cohesion and connection (social capital). These are the foods of our souls I think, which gives purpose, direction and meaning to this mess of an existence. To experience a disconnect with these people because of distance well, sucks.

Apologies on the vague/abstract writing, that slipped out somehow. Won't happen again, I promise (not really).

On Ponies